her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
