it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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