I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
