i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
