The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
