when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize