no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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