They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
