Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize