dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
nutella sex= disaster
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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