first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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