i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
