you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Randomize