no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
