You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Randomize
