am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
