I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
