Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
