have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
