You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
