Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
