jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize