Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
