sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
