nut hugger
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
