Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
