You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Randomize
