so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize