Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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