Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Pants are for mortals
Randomize
