Kiss
Puke
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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