He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
