im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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