I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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