I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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