i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
