Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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