I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Everyone says I win the strip club
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
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