He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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