It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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