If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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