You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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