oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
