We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
