Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
they need to just BURY HIM!
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
