It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
