his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
