just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize