It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
