All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
