I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
