Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
