Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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