I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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