I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
