you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
