i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
