areolas are like halos for boobs.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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