Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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