I skipped work to stalk him.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
