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also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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