waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
