i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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